why we have the internet | John-Henry Doucette

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Why We Have the Internet, Vol. V: Smells so famitazic on the puplic [sic] edition

February 23, 2012

PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Sometimes there is a little too much Christmas stocking to stuff, and that may be marked the moment in which a parent reaches for the Avon product. Such as Mesmerize® brand roll-on anti-persperent deodorant, a scent so alluring it sells for 99 cents online. Among its selling points? A promise: Non-stinging. And, dear customer, always […]

Why We Have the Internet, Vol. IV: Hey Kids, It’s A Very Special Hugh Anthony Cregg III & Co. Labor Day Retrospective! Edition

September 2, 2011

PORTSMOUTH, Va. — To get in the Labor Day mood and because the blog’s Wayback Machine recently was repossessed for non payment — yo, Imaginary Board of Directors, why do I pretend to bankroll you bums? — I’ve harnessed the power of the Internet to revisit the economic past. This past has a soundtrack by one of Patrick Bateman‘s favorite […]

Why we have the Internet, Vol. II: Disemboweled Tauntaun Edition

March 21, 2011

With George Lucas returning his Star Wars films, in 3-D, to theaters beginning next year, I’ve considered whether I should begin saving up for a ticket, rather than, let’s say, Old Dominion University tuition or food for my family. Since I learned the first will be The Phantom Menace, I think I’m still state school-bound – […]