Browsing All Posts filed under »Why We Have the Internet«

Why We Have the Internet, Vol. V: Smells so famitazic on the puplic [sic] edition

February 23, 2012


PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Sometimes there is a little too much Christmas stocking to stuff, and that may be marked the moment in which a parent reaches for the Avon product. Such as Mesmerize® brand roll-on anti-persperent deodorant, a scent so alluring it sells for 99 cents online. Among its selling points? A promise: Non-stinging. And, dear customer, always […]

Why We Have the Internet, Vol. IV: Hey Kids, It’s A Very Special Hugh Anthony Cregg III & Co. Labor Day Retrospective! Edition

September 2, 2011


PORTSMOUTH, Va. — To get in the Labor Day mood and because the blog’s Wayback Machine recently was repossessed for non payment — yo, Imaginary Board of Directors, why do I pretend to bankroll you bums? — I’ve harnessed the power of the Internet to revisit the economic past. This past has a soundtrack by one of Patrick Bateman‘s favorite […]

Why We Have the Internet, Vol. III: <$20M Need Not Apply Edition

March 24, 2011


Second from the right above. Red tie. Yeah, him. Gene Simmons wants to insure you as only the god of thunder and rock’n’roll can do. The KISS bassist and businessman has joined forces with a financial services group. This is a real thing for about a year now. The Internet says, so I’m 51 percent sure. First, […]

Why we have the Internet, Vol. II: Disemboweled Tauntaun Edition

March 21, 2011


With George Lucas returning his Star Wars films, in 3-D, to theaters beginning next year, I’ve considered whether I should begin saving up for a ticket, rather than, let’s say, Old Dominion University tuition or food for my family. Since I learned the first will be The Phantom Menace, I think I’m still state school-bound – […]

Why we have the Internet, Vol. I: Go to the Link and Press the Button Edition

February 22, 2011


You’re welcome, America. Hat tip: Dave Pedu.


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